Tuesday, July 22, 2008

stanislav, a young polish plumber said... LATE NEWS

stanislav, a young polish plumber said...


On his fund-raising tour of the Middle East, UK prime minister Gordon ben Brown addressed the Knesset. From The Jerusalem Herald and the Tel Aviv Daily Mirror.(ed. Toilets Maguirestein)

"My fellow Hebes and motherfuckers, as a son of the Scotch synagogue I say to you Shalom and thank you all for inviting me to preach in your parliament and borrow some money.

You have always been most accommodating in this area, especially in the Twelfth century back home in York, although I believe there was a bit of a communication difficulty in the easy repayments plan.

If Labour had been in charge then I would of course have taken the Hebe moneylenders into public ownership and only driven them into the sea as a very last resort - or if they refused a reasonable offer of work, down at the job centre, as we are now proposing to do in our own Final Solution.

The poor and the workshy deny lebensraum to the very hard-working and relatively poorly-paid wealth creators in the banks, the Party and the non tax-paying Russian underworld.

It is my policy, which I am sure you will all support, that we have eine Reich, eine Volk in which the poor, if they can no longer work for the rich or pay taxes, become worthless, so into the sea they must go; it is what we in the Party call compassionate Nazism. A bit like you with the neighbours up in Lebanon.

Y'know, when I was a wee boy my father was a Scotch Rabbi and so I am very much a Hebe motherfucker myself. And proud of it, only not in Palestine of course. Or South America. And I scarcely mention it with Frau Merkel. Not that I have anything to do with Germans.

In Scotland we didn't have the windows broken and the Swastika daubed on the walls thing but apart from that it was all quite Yiddish. Only we call it Presbyterianish. And instead of chicken soup our mommas made us nutritious and tasty chocolate bars fried in batter, a bit like Gefelte Fish. Only quite different

There is no God but God and Mohammed is his prophet, as our Muslim friends say, not that we have any Muslim friends making oil in Saudi Arabia. And yes, my fellow Hebe motherfuckers, I do solemnly commit my armed forces to going in there in Iran or wherever, in their rusty old LandRovers; I mean, of course, trusty old LandRovers just as soon as a) you give me some money, only not through Mr Abrahams this time and b) we borrow some ammunition off Uncle Sam.

This offer of course depends on enough of them surviving the best efforts of the schwartzer goyim untermenschen in Afghanistan and them all not coming home in tastefully flag-draped coffins and sombre music to Brize Norton and giving me an arseache in the fucking coroner's office.

As a way of recognising my own Hebeness and the very great debt we shall all owe you once you give me the money I propose to bring into government, alongside Obedience minister, Mr Jack Torture, the right honourable member for Tel Aviv, Mr Gerald Boys-Kauffman and the noble Lord Janner-Holocaust.

And if it moves the deal along a bit we could have a Holocaust Day not just once a year but once a week, maybe sing: On the Twelve Holocaust Days of Christmas, my true love (Ed) sent to me.....etc or even hold it daily, along with the citizenship obedience prayer.

In fact I could re-name the whole fucking country Holocast Island, make everybody wear skullcaps and eat anchovy sandwiches on that shit famine bread you like so much.

It is the run up to the Olympic Games, just now, and people all over the world ask me about the security implications, might terrorists take hostages and even kill them? Right load of bollocks is what I say, such a thing would never happen. It's like saying there will be a return to Tory boom and bust which there won't be even though there is. And in England, anyway, we can rely upon the Chinese Secret Service, who have allowed me to put them in charge of the Metropolitan police, under, of course, our magnificently uniformed Commissionaire, Sir Iain Bendover and our security minister, Admiral Lord Liberace-West and. Just for once, lets never mind what it says in the Good Book about sodomites and fire and fucking brimstone; if you fucking please, some, even most, perhaps all of my best friends are arse burglars.(Ed)

The former Chief Rabbi of the Northern Ireland Hebes, Archbishop Professor the Right Reverend Lord ben Paisley of Shankill Road ButchersRus, has recently resigned his office; with his many doctorates - all of them properly purchased and invoiced from the University of eBay - and his own private synagogue, his most sticky-fingered Reverence Doctor Iain and his son, Dr Iain the Second, have shown the Ulster Hebes how to do business in a modern plutocracy and we shall not look on his like again, Oi vay, although his fellow architect of Peace Through Torture, Mr Martin Kneecaps does have an engaging twinkle in his roguish eye and I am sure a few of us here wouldn't mind getting tied-up with him.

My prudent stewardship of the UK economy - burning all the money- has set us fair for weathering the shitstorm which I have created. I have instructed the British people to both borrow and spend like there's no tomorrow and to, at the same time. save every penny because there is an all too real tomorrow in which they will all have no pensions, not from the state, because I have aforementionedly, Mr Deputy Rabbi, burned all the money and not from the private sector because the directors have used all that money to pay themselves bonuses in order to attract the right kind of people.

A simple, prudent strategy, inflate the only asset which people have, encourage them to borrow and spend it in the High Street creating a false boom and when the artificially high value of the asset deflates, everybody gets fucked up the Khyber. It's called my no more boom and bust strategy and it has woked very well. Up until now.

My prudence will also have the effect of stimulating the pawnbroking sector of the economy, probably the only sector I have not single-handedly abolished.

What about the future, people ask. Well, my Hebe motherfucking brethren in Christ, as a way of burning any future money that people don't yet have their hands on. I have prudently written massive sums of future PFI debt down in the back of my rough book, where no-one can see them. This means that they won't have to be paid back until long after I am dead and up in Heaven with my father and all the other Rabbis.

It just goes to show that we in the UK have worked out how to deal not only with the economy, which is why I am here with the begging bowl, but also with with the terrorist threat, you just let 'em all out of jail and put them in government, whilst simultaneously prudently burning all the money.

You can still learn a lot from us, even though you have bought the Labour Party outright, just think how much better and more inclusive it would have been if instead of executing Mr Eichmann you had made him deputy prime minister, like we do. Murdering psychobastards can make surprisingly effective political campaigners. As I don't need to remind you.

I look forward to a positive response to our loan application and assure you that your money, like ours, will soon go up in smoke and you will never be troubled by seeing it again. But then you're used to that.

I will close now, my fellow Hebe motherfuckers, with an old Yiddish song we used to sing at Highland Bar Mitvahs:

Al-laaahhh Akhbar, Al-laaahhh Akhbar, Bismillah, No we will not let them go, not for forty-two days, No no no no no no no, All the lassies say Och, Aye, Donald where's yer foreskin ?

Thank you, thank you, no business like showbusiness. Cheques or cash will do. But preferably cash. Thank you. Shalom! Heil Hitler! And have a negilah day."


July 22, 2008 4:06 PM

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

stanislav, a young polish plumber said... Do you have, Ms Harman, a last request ?

Guy Fawkes' blog of parliamentary plots, rumours and conspiracy: Jump on the Harriet Bandwagon
stanislav, a young polish plumber said...

Dear Mr Scott Redding

You are absolutely right, these are vile and sexist remarks; they don't, however, on a scale of bad behaviour, come anywhere near having one of Mr Hoon's Democratic Fragmentation munitions land in yourlocal infants school and eviscerate your children; they do not compare with being held hooded, naked and being sexually assaulted by GI Joan and her Alsatians; they are not in the same league as six years illegal detention and torture by CIA psychobastard momma's boys down in sunny Cuba and they breach fewer common law and constitutional provisions than do any number of fascistic measures enacted by Harman's party; these remarks, to which you object, in short, do not result in mass murder, gang rape, illegal detention and torture, all of which are the hallmarks of the achingly politically correct gang of parasites in which Harman and Partner are so prominent.

The Blair/Brown government, aside from its chronic mishandling of the economy and public sector reform has allied us to a vicious, reactionary gangster cabal in Washington and imported to the United Kingdom a similar politics - one of suborned, complicit media, massive bribes, money-laundering and blackmail, all applied in concert with the trampling of rights far outside their parliamentary remit. How, pray, do you suggest we address and refer to people such as these, the tyrant Harman et al?

My own preference and I am sure that of many - aside, of course, from those still convinced of the imminent discovery of Iraqi weapons of mass destruction - would be for an occasion on which to deploy a simple phrase: Do you have, Ms Harman, a last request ?

love from stanislav

July 9, 2008 2:34 PM

Monday, July 7, 2008

stanislav said... Here is the Stabbing Round-up

Guy Fawkes' blog of parliamentary plots, rumours and conspiracy: Marr Gets All Aggressive
stanislav said...

Here is the Stabbing Round-up


Well it is a jolly rum do, all this knife crime thingy. But I jolly well dunno what they expect me to do about it. I'm not really Socrates, just enjoy a kebab now and again, after a skinful. Maybe I should appoint some more mouthy, bent, black perverts. As a token thingy. Gone now, anyway; line in the old sand, learn valuable lessons, move forward. Enquiry cancelled.

Instead of stabbing each other, can't these people just rampage through the town in evening dress, smash the place up, frighten the locals and get Daddy to pay the bill, like we used to; go to coke parties with their old university chums, y'know, do a spot of insider dealing, try-out some other cove's bitch; engage in a bout of the old flagrante delicto in the back of the Bentley, what ? It's not as though we don't set them a good example. Cocaine? Never touched it.

IN THE HOUSE the shadow leader of the Tory party, Kid Hague, is on his feet:

Ay ay ay funny thing happened to me on the way to the house, Madam Deputy Spunker (cheers) but then, perhaps, perhaps Madam Deputy Spanker, honourable and right members will forgive me if I keep that little apercu for my paying customers (groans of disappointment from all sides.)

As, Madam Deputy Splasher, for these truly dreadful events, whatever they are, I was only saying to Lord Sebastian in the shower this morning, all this stabbing, y'know, it'll have to stop, but he wouldn't be told, naughty boy. It's not as though we, in this place, don't set people a good example

FOR THE GOVERNMENT, Stabbing Minister, Tony McNutter said; I will be responding to people's very real, very real, um, things, Mr Spunker, as ever, by passing new freedoms legislation which the government has already voted on and we will, therefore, not need to detain members who can just get on with their property portfolios, their shopping trips to Mr Lewis's and, as the right honourable member for Richmond has just indicated, their boyfriends.

The thrust of the legislation - The Do As You're Fucking Told, Citizen, (Temporary but Permanent powers) Act - is a return to the founding principles of both my own party and, indeed, all political parties.

As of now, Mr Spunker, any voter who doesn't do as they are told by anyone acting on my behalf will be shot, their assets forfeit to the Exchequer and their family sent for re-education. (Cheers, waving of papers.)

ON BBC's THIS WEEK PROGRAMME Andy Slaphead Jock, Murdoch multi-millionaire and pretend journalist, sits shoulders hunched-up, like a Hibernian hobgoblin, informally tieless, if not wigless, holding his postcards, smirking, as well he might:

Diane, you know some poor black people, don't you, do they smell frightfully bad ? I mean, aren't poor people dreadful ? Whats your take (1960s slang = opinion) on this ?

DIANE LARD, pretend MP (from inside a billowing black tent.) Well, Andrew (waving arms around) I blame the parents; as you know, I was so conscientious a parent that I sent my precious little baby to an expensive, fee-paying, radical socialist school, in order, purely, you understand, to keep him from harm's way, out of reach of my constituents' grubby children and not to give him any advantage in later life, like when he inherits my seat.

So my conscience on this matter, as in all others, is clear. As for the trash and riff-raff in my constituency, well if they can't be bothered to get the very best for their children well, why should I care, not as though I'm paid to represent them or anything. It's not as though I don't set them a good example.

(turning, smiling acidly) Michael, you should know, does Barack Obama have a big one ?

DAME MICHAEL PORTILLO, MURDOCH EMPLOYEE AND FAMOUS COWARD: Indeed, and you make my point, Diane, some of these black chaps have whoppers, as Ron Davies often remarked, when he was Badgers Secretary; it beats me why we can't find jobs for some of them, lots of them, down at the House; why, even some of the female members might find use for a well-developed young ree-surch assistant, although my instinct tells me that they'd be gobbled up, so to speak, by the gentlemen members. You might try one yourself, Andrew, if you ever tire of totty young enough to be your granddaughter. Are we going to be singing Gimme, Gimme, Gimme a Man After Midnight again this week, Andrew, I do hope so.

JOCK NEIL: No, we're not, and that's enough of poor people, let them stab each other to death if they want, now it's time for that giant of political commentary, Peter Stringfellow and HIS take of the week.

And don't go away because later on we have some other facetious, self-aggrandising, celebrity fuckwit I met at a do the other night, I think it's that bald, angry bloke, the pretend soldier, Kemp, another chum of my friend, but not yours, Rupert. Ross will be telling us how they deal with knife crime in the SAS. Which he isn't in.

But don't blame us at This Week for all these stabbings, it's not as though we don't set a good example.


In view of the appalling number of poor people stabbing one another to death, we rich lawyers have decided that it would be a waste of scarce resources to prosecute our worshipful brethren in the houses of parliament, the police, the civil service, the BMA and elsewhere, not that we do.

I have decided, therefore, to amend the Misrepresentation of The People Act, so that henceforth, it is in the public interest that no members, past or present, of these groups may be prosecuted for anything whatsoever, up to and including procuring, prostitution, racketeering, blackmail, money-laundering, extortion, murder and war crimes. Even though they have all done them.

This step merely formalises the existing custom and I feel that it will meet with wide approval. Among those, at any rate, who gave me my job and will give me my retirement peerage, pensions and QUANGO posts.

This fair and even-handed, fearless application of the legal process is bound to restore confidence among those who thought that laws they had made against other people might be unfairly used against themselves.

Now that politicians are free once more to carry on regardless of the law I am confident that all this knife business will just go away, not that anyone important cares about it; rather useful actually, never too young to be an Enemy Within.

It is in this exemplary and impartial execution of my duties that I demonstrate to poor people that I am doing my best to set them a good example.

More stabbing news on the hour, here on Sky with Kay Hatchet. For updates to your mobile, text STAB to news@sky.com

July 7, 2008 12:26 PM

Friday, July 4, 2008

stanislav, a young polish plumber said...The anonymati, eh, what are they like ?

Guy Fawkes' blog of parliamentary plots, rumours and conspiracy: Troughing Ministers, Troughing Tory MPs
stanislav, a young polish plumber said...

Dear Mr Goodnight Vienna

The anonymati, eh, what are they like ?

Mind you, was a bloke here, the other night, some kinda internet welfare worker, said he was "interested in discussing things with intelligent and non-racist readers of this blog" MixTogether, he called himself.

Wouldn't claim to have either of the necessary qualities to a relationship with this person, being just a plumber and all but I was interested in telling him to go and join the football team banging his mother on a block booking, she'd be able to find room for him.

It's the pretension you see, the assumptions, both of them stupid and racist, that if you say intelligent and non-racist it means that you are both of these things and able to detect them in others and that you can form a group together and sit around being those things and hey, fuck me, before you know it, whole fucking world, by osmosis, is them, too, intelligent and non-racist, these are the sort of people who carry the Guardian in public, but the fact is that anybody who would utter such tripe is obviously both of these things himself, or maybe herself.

See, Mr or Ms MoxTogether, if you only talk to people whom you think agree with you, you might just as well stick your head way down between your legs and whistle up your arse.

This observation, of course, on the democratic necessity of the collision of opposing ideas should not be in any way taken as approval of Mr Fucking Delicious, our in-house mutant.

ps It is an axiom worth remembering that - given the tyranny and bestiality which is, increasingly, ever abroad - it is better, unquestionably, to have a gun and not need one, than need one and not have one. Innit?

July 4, 2008 6:42 PM

stanislav said...State of the Limey Nation Address.

Guy Fawkes' blog of parliamentary plots, rumours and conspiracy: Troughing Ministers, Troughing Tory MPs
stanislav said...

From CBS, NBC, CNN, ABC and that cunt Murdoch's pretend news channel.

State of the Limey Nation Address.

"Mah Fellow Motherfuckers

President Codger McCain here tonight to shoot the fat a little, chew the breeze, right here, fronta the fire with m'dog, Obama, just like my illustrious predecessor in this great office, president whoosis, used to do, y'all know who I mean, the little fat fuck who took over when the other one croaked, the one in the hat, the one who nuked the Nips to Hell and back, slimy little yellow bastards, President Codger McCain'd a bombed every last fucking one of them grunting little monkeys, and their fucking Emperor Horseshit, right back to their rice-munching, head-chopping fucking ancestors, glassed the whole fucking place right over.

All got way too many teeth, ever notice that, mah fellow motherfuckers, how them slopes all got a few too many teeth ? No, I guess not but it's the kinda thing a Commander in Chief needs to know about before he has some sonsa fuckin' bitches blown into next fuckin' week. It's frankly unfuckingAmerican, number a teeth them little bastards got. No wonder they can't talk right., like decent white Christian folks. Eat with fuckin' twigs, they do, probably can't get a knife and fork past all them fuckin' teeth. Obama! get yer fuckin' nose outa that woman's ass, I told ya before, next time I'll take you out on the White House lawn and blow yer Goddamned head off; got m'gun, right here in my pants, next to my catheter. Sorry about that folks, now, where in the Hell was I ?

Yeah right. Foreign policy stuff. No easy way to say this, what with the special relationship and everything, but the Limey President, he's an honest ta fucking Jesus shit-fer-brains fruitcake, a twenty-four fuckin' carat psycho and I am not, mah fellow motherfuckers, bullshittin' yer asses, man's madder'n a grizzly with his dick caught in a trap, running around all over the woods, biting hisself. Been over there in London England myself, met him right up close and I have to tell y'all that that's one mad Limey. And his breath, sonofa fuckin bitch, it smells like the fucking aircon went off down at the morgue, go in a room with the Limey President's like sticking yer head up Satan's asshole. He leaves the meeting every five minutes to go an jerk himself off, y'know, no I'm not shitting ya, comes back in squirming and stuttering, his lower jaw jerking up and down like a fiddler's fuckin' elbow; guy over there, Polack plumber, got a whole new terminology for it.

Y'know, on the tee-vee, everytime I see that Goddamned jaw manouevre, that gulping, I swear to Goda-fuckingMighty that that dude 's got somebody's fist up his Goddamn asshole; right there, on the fuckin' tee-vee, there's someone, under the fuckin' table, behind the fuckin' chair, got their Goddamned fist up the Limey President's asshole.

Goes on the tee-vee, right there plumb in the middlea the Limey Congress, sits there eatin' snot right out a his fucking nose, like a four year old. Right there on the Goddamned tee-vee. I ever see that fuckin' heathen ass-fistin', snot-eatin', jerk-off sonofabitch here in my Oval Office take him right out there on the White House lawn and blow his fuckin' head off, see what he makes a them values; got m'gun, right here in my pants, next my catheter.

Y'know, he came down offa that reservation up at the top of England Britain where they keep the drunks and mental patient folks, all the transwotsanames, the dwarves, all those kinda freaks, web-foots, six-finger, inbred, albino, ginger bastard motherfucking mutant sonsafuckinbitches; got 'em all behind a big wall up there and just throw some money over the top now and again, let 'em elect their own mutant in chief, just like regular people, only these mothers are all a million fucking years and a good few evolutionary developments offa being regular; live in fuckin' caves, mosta them, eat porridge with their fingers, worse than fuckin' Nips, seen it with my own eyes, it's like Limey Mexico, and he came down with that other pansy, the one with the freakshow wife, Jesus H fucking Christ, d'ya ever see a kisser like that ? Park a fucking Humvee in there. Imelda her name is, seems like Uncle Sam is buying her a new house every fucking goddamned fucking week, ugly bitch got more palaces than Saddam fucking Hussein.

Anyway, they all come down off the reservation and take over the Limey Communist Party. Get some oily fag cocksucker off the tee-vee, Mandelstein, or something, a walking sperm bank, sucking everybody's dick, they're all coked-up faggots in the BBC Limey media, the ones that ain't kiddy-fiddlers, and next thing you know the pansy and Imelda are in Buckingham House running the whole fucking joint, selling off seats in the Limey Senate like they was hamburgers and this joker, the one-eyed freak, is at the Limey Treasury burning all the country's fucking money in a great big bonfire.

The Limey Congress is full a dingleberries, see, never done a day's fucking work in their Goddamned communiist lives, Ree-Surchers, mostly, attorneys some of them, even fuckin' worse, and every commie sonofabitch is dancing round the money bonfire cheering their fuckin' heads off as the whole fuckin' country goes up in smoke.

Anyhow, after ten fuckin' years the pansy realises he's been rumbled and heads off to be a Cardinal for ole Pope Nazi while Imelda is gangbanging her way around the world for money, like she was Jackie fucking Onassis, banging like an Iowa shithouse door in a gale, and up steps the current guy, Gordon, off the Reservation.

And it was all shit, he says, on the street outside 10 Buckingham House, holding hands with his Bearded Lady, everything we done this past ten years, all shit, all of it, shit. I'm going in here right now and let the work of change begin, change all that shit into wine, like he was Charlton fuckin' Heston talking to the fuckin' Israelites. There's no need to elect me, he said, my daddy said I should be Limey President, and that should be enough. I'm going in here now and work night and fucking day and change everything about again. Just as soon as folks see how clever I am, they all gonna want me for Life President's what he says, but first I just gotta make sure all the money gets burnt to fuckin' soot and ashes.

Now, my fellow motherfuckers, Limeyland is one weird joint. Here in the US of A, if you if you go a thousand miles from home and go out to a swingers party, y'know, watch some other dude porkstick yer old lady, and leave yer kids all alone in the dark to be carried away by the raggle taggle gypsies-O or some other kinda bestial ethnic minority groupa worthless un American bastards, you might expect to spend some time on the County Farm, gettin' yer ass kicked but over there in Limeyland they pay off yer fuckin' mortgage for ya and open ya up a huge fuckin' bank account and put your brother in charge of it and the Limey government gives you a spokesman of your own. Get to go on the teevee every day just like a regular motherfucker, instead a gettin' fuckin' stones thrown at ya, like you should.

So it's no surprise to this old warrior that the Communist Limey press corp bought right in to that change shit, off Assman, the Scotch Limey, the idea was that this certifiable fuckin lunatic with voices in his head and hands up his ass who burnt all the fuckin' money should be put in charge of the entire sorry-assed, pussy-whipped country, without so much as an election, but just a promise that the fistin' screwball was gonna pay even closer attention to the spirit messages he received from his late old man, some kind of a Reservation Jehovah's fuckin' Witness, had his own church and everything. and that's just exactly what happened.

Anybody says, Hold on a Goddamn fucking minute, why are you burning all the money and giving the gold away and Assman just says some shit about right long-term decisions for hard-working Limey families and Bob's yer fuckin' uncle. And, my fellow motherfuckers, it is this loser's handling of the Limey money -Prudently Burning all the fuckin' Money and giving away all the gold down there in PoundLand - that caused this whole fuck-up in the subprime market here at home in the US. Messages from the fuckin' dead. That and selling Limeyland into a Communist Federation with a load of fucking European thieves, faggots, cocksuckers and opera-loving, shit-eating motherfuckers.

The whole place is fucked. Limeyland, birthpace of the Pilgrim Fathers, fucked by sodomitin' Scotch lunatics.

The Gay Truckers Association is blockading Assman right there in Buckingham House, even now, those faggots got blood in their eyes and fried egg down their vests, want free gas and all those toilets put back in the highway laybys, is what they want. The Limey Congressmen're makin' it legal for themselves to rob the store until t's fuckin' empty. Back up on the reservation his own tribesmen hate his sorry fisted guts and he daren't even go back there without a full regiment of secret service to protect his ass. Got a dwarf in charge up there, on the reservation, keeps his old lady's corpse in the attic an' drinks his own piss. The communist labour unions won't give him another nickel. The Limey cops hate him, the teachers hate him , the nurses hate him, nothing works, the economy's fucked, the weather's fucked, the roads are fucked, you can't go in a Limey hospital without catching some Goddamned filthy disease because the thieving bastard Limey doctors are all too far up their own asses to wash their fuckin' hands, the schools are fucked, the little bastards running arund stabbing each other; come Fall and all the old Limeys're set to freeze to fucking death, or starve or both, if the little bastards don't get 'em first. The police'll plug ya fulla holes soon as fucking look at you; they got cameras in everybody's fucking house, they can just hoist ya off the street and toss yer ass in the slammer and everything you care to mention is shit. If waht thy're doin' is against the law they just gor ight ahead and make up some new laws, just like that, Y'all can go and kiss my ass, Mr Voter, that's what them Limey cocksuckng Congressmen say. Assman couldn't win a fucking election in his own front room if he was the only candidate. The Leader of the Limey Republicans is a two-faced, two-bit card-sharping shit-fer-brains Momma's boy; Archbishop Canterburg, the Limey Pope, is a fucking nutcase, couldn't find the hole in his own ass, next King of LimeyLand thinks he's a fucking sanitary towel, most of the Limey Congress is under investigation for fraud, Limey currency soon won't be worth no more'n a Zimbabwe dollar, and the whole shithole is under fuckin' water most of the time.

Snotman's up to his neck in shit and every five fuckin' minutes seems like a turd as big as USS New Jersey comes steaming over the horizon. Just as well they only got a few payclerks and gravediggers hiding in the airport, out there in Eyerack. Wouldn't want the crazy fag Limey cocksucking premier giving orders to proper military.

Talkin' a which, mah fellow motherfuckers, here is my solemn promise to y'all - I find any man in my army sticking his dick up another soldiers's asshole an I'll shoot 'em both, right here on the White House lawn. Ain't fuckin' natural. No more'n that lesbian tennis they're all watching over there in Winbletown. Those dykes come in here, gruntin' and sweatin' and carpet-munchin' all over my West Wing an' I'll fuckin' shoot them, too. Take 'em right out on the White House lawn, blow their fuckin' heads off. Got m'gun, right here in my pants, right next my catheter.

You know, best part of a hundred years we been fightng the Limey's wars for 'em, equipping their pansy army so's the faggot generals and admirals and all them other Ruperts can all mince about in gold fucking braid and fancy pants writin' poetry and gettin' spanked by their Goddamned batmen and what have they done in return? Invented communism and ass-fistin, that's what. Invented right there in London, both of 'em was. Seeni with mah own eyes. London England is now run by a womanising Greek sonofabitch surrounds himself with crooked clergymen and Goddamned perverts just like the last motherfucker, the one who ta;ks through his fucking nose, the one with the frogs and more wives'n'children than a fucking Mormon.

Time we sent the Seventh cavalry over there and rescue them decent Limey folks, while three still is a Limeyland, punish these fuckin' money-burnin' savages and put 'em all back on the reservation they come offa. Gonna lead the regiment mahself. Got m'gun, right here in my pants, next my catheter......She wore, she wore, she wore a yellow ribbon........

It's been real fine talking to you, mah fellow motherfuckers.

Rally round the flag, y'all, only not that blue communist one with the yellow faggot stars.

July 4, 2008 1:48 PM

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

BBC.. Bolshevik Broadcasting Corporation.

Anonymous said...

Pi** off to America if you don't like Europe.

Some people on this blog say they "want their country back" and think this will happen by selling the BBC to foreign investors, effectively replacing it with Foxnews.

You think you can install a kind of "silicon" business culture in Britain, by removing from the British system anything that is not present in Silicon valley, and hey presto!

Newsflash: Britain is NOT America. And it cannot be, ever, no matter how much you wish it were. America was created in direct opposition to Britain and all that she represents: nobility, monarchy, the class system, support for the underdog, political and religious cleavages, the make up of cities and their architecture, and the negative scepticism of the British people are all things that mean, even if you destroy the system that currently regulates our society, even if you impose a foreign, american system from above, it won't work in the same way in Britain as it does in America. The outcomes will STILL be different.

Britain will end up with all the disadvantages of America and all the disadvantages of a rain sodden european island put together.

You forget that there are many positive things about Britain that are not American, including the BBC. You have been brainwashed by the american neo liberal ideology into hating your own country and all that it stands for. All the positive things you ascribe to your country are actually american: free markets and democracy: the British empire was protectionist and undemocratic, and Britain still has an undemocratic monarchy. As Britons, you even hate free-market europe, forgetting that your country is european. You are intellectually confused and compromised by your foreign ideology.

You act in the interests of a foreign power to destroy your own British culture: you hate any of your countrymen who seek to protect their culture through the BBC.

You are a third column. you are traitors. Move to America. Under your criteria it is a better country.

bob said...

Surprisingly anonymous cunt @ July 2, 2008 1:26 PM.

How funny, and we thought it was the cultural marxists of the BBC destroying the country.

Well I never.

As for the US and Britain, there's more between us than differentiates us, unlike the French and Germans for example.

You might like the idea of the Chinese or Indians ruling the world, I'll stick with the Amrecicans thanks.

The nation that has kept Europe from a major war for the last 60 years, unlike the EU which can't even stop a little Balkan genocide, fucking pathetic.

Anonymous said...


So you would choose subservience to America based on events that took place 60 years ago. What a lack of imagination. Your lack of ambtion betrays a typically British "can't do" attitude. Good luck in Silicon valley!

Of course we share many things. But there are many things that seperate Britain from America too, and these are precisely the things you wish to destroy. Why is that?

You think we are closer to america than to europe. But this is impossible. We ARE Europe. The european story could not be told without England. Americans certainly think so! The Queen of England epitomises european history and culture. There are also many things that we share with France and Germany. Why do you dislike these things so much? They are at the essence of our culture. Why is this difficult for you to accept?

The answer to the above questions: You have been brainwashed by American neo-liberal thinking. The country you say you love is in fact America, you got the names mixed up. Your are a colonised subject of the american empire.

45govt said...

unsurprisingly anonymous cunt (I would be too) @ 1.26.

Are you for real you mong? - the BBC is one of the worst aspects of a failing nation - it was worth something once, but no longer. The strongest argument here today for it total erasure from the face of the earth, is the revelation that it (ie YOU) pays trolls to spend the licence fee combatting anti BBC discourse. Remind you of anywhere, you tosser?

For all the sneering you - as you would, you know-nothing cunt - offer for the US, it is a far better champion of the underdog than Britain, as bob (now clearly sober, and angry!) points out above.

And then you have the effrontery to blow this smoke, you gobshite:-

"You act in the interests of a foreign power to destroy your own British culture: you hate any of your countrymen who seek to protect their culture through the BBC."

Wotta nutter cunt you truly are - it is the Bliar Bollox Cunts like you together with the fascist ZaNuLab govt that are doing, and have done exactly that, by flooding the country with unassimilable aliens, and selling us off for their places at the EUSSR trough.

Why don't you take your nasty statist, know-better-than-the serfs attitude and stuff it up your arse, you haemorrhoid - just fuck off back to somewhere they might have an interest in the shite you have to offer.

BTW - not only the BBC pays to have trolls patrolling - the govt had three paid trolls on shift work on the Tel blogs up to the end of the local elections - now it's down to two part-timers, but they are fucked.

radio 4 listener said...

I like the BBC, for all that it is a bit of a leftist propaganda machine; I simply ignore that bit.

They have, however, commissioned shows like The Thick of It and lots of nice things about art and classical music, which I like because I'm middle-class. And radio 4. You wouldn't get any of that on a commercial station as anything even remotely 'edgy' would be avoided so as not to upset the advertisers, and anything that didn't appeal to the lowest common denominator wouldn't be popular enough. Many people have said it but look at ITV. That's what happens.

In fact, the more I think about it, the BBC - and the Arts Council - is practically the only way in which the rest of the country subsidises things that I, and people like me, enjoy, which considering that we spend the rest of the time subsidising things that we don't give a shit about and don't use seems fair enough to me.

thick as thieves said...

what fun we are going to have with these pompous bbc cunts!

anon 2pm,
and what party are you associated with?
or are you to ashamed to say?
I bet he runs away.

45govt said...

So you're back with this BS:-

"So you would choose subservience to America based on events that took place 60 years ago. What a lack of imagination."

Remember Kososvo - Europe's shining hour? What a lack of memory. The US, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not, but in your case I guess not, is still the last bastion of individual freedoms, just - unlike our European chums who are, surely with the wholehearted support of a useful idiot like you, have now decided to implement a rejected constitution anyway, as it turns out democracy is no longer a requrement. Cui bono?
They do the troughing bastards.

WTF are you on?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous - July 2, 2008 1:26 PM

"Britain will end up with all the disadvantages of . . . . a rain sodden european island"

...You act in the interests of a foreign power to destroy your own British culture: you hate any of your countrymen who seek to protect their culture through the BBC.

You sneering BBC troll.

The BBC does not protect our culture. It is deliberately trying to abolish English society and any English identity.

We are not European. We are English. Like it or piss off back to Brussels.

Bob said...

Anonymous cheeky fucker @ July 2, 2008 2:00 PM.

You cheeky fucker, you deserve a ‘fisking’.


Mr Fucking Bob to you.

So you would choose subservience to America based on events that took place 60 years ago. What a lack of imagination. Your lack of ambtion betrays a typically British "can't do" attitude. Good luck in Silicon valley!

1. I don’t choose anything I merely make the observation that the Russians, Chinese or Indians would be far worse if, heaven forbid they become the world super power.

2. What the fuck have I said about Silicon Valley. Though I will have you know that it was the Labour fucking Govt that destroyed British computing companies when it nationalised them all and made ICL, subsequently sold to Fujitsu, twat.

Of course we share many things. But there are many things that seperate Britain from America too, and these are precisely the things you wish to destroy. Why is that?

Is this based on anything I said. I don’t think so. If you want to call me a cunt, just do it, don’t put words in my mouth. That’s a true pol for you, you cunt.

You think we are closer to america than to europe. But this is impossible. We ARE Europe. The european story could not be told without England. Americans certainly think so! The Queen of England epitomises european history and culture. There are also many things that we share with France and Germany. Why do you dislike these things so much? They are at the essence of our culture. Why is this difficult for you to accept?

1. Politically we are closer to America than ‘Europe’ (To be clear, and we all know the difference between Europe and Continental Europe) this is indisputable

2. 'Why do I dislike these things so much’. You are rambling man, make a point that can be answered in less than a day. However, If you don’t understand the difference between the continental Napoleonic code and English Common law, it’s because you are a fucking idiot.

The answer to the above questions: You have been brainwashed by American neo-liberal thinking. The country you say you love is in fact America, you got the names mixed up. Your are a colonised subject of the american empire.

In answer to your poorly composed and spelt drivel, see above.

thick as thieves said...

'protect their culture'
you must be on acid you cunt.
funny how these wankers sound like communists, but are creaming it off like good ol' fashion capitalists.
if old women don't pay the bbc levy they get locked up. just so these cunts can live the high-life.
they are moral inverting motherfuckers.
let's get these fuckers up against the wall.
note to bbc trolls: don't make a fuss or I will be unable to get a clean shot.

Anonymous said...

How amusing. All this bile and hatred directed against Britain, its television, it's institutions, its position in Europe, and thus ultimately yourselves: since it is this country, and this continent that made you who you are.

You are like left wing americans who hate everything their country stands for and want it to be just like Sweden, when it never can be. Of course America wouldn't be America without their rantings. You are their european alter egos. You are what makes Europe Europe.

As Europeans you represent the very worst of what europe is capable of producing: facism.

The average American would have difficulty understanding what planet you are on.

Anonymous said...


I hate these fucking BBC mongs.

You can't say shit on their websites or blogs but they come over here, abusing your free speech with their stalinist bullshit.

Off with their fucking heads.

Come on you fuckers, we are allowed to show you up for the cunts you are.

You got an argument, let's hear it.

bob said...


Look at these communist 'disinformation' producing bastards:

"How amusing. All this bile and hatred directed against Britain, its television, it's institutions,"

One institution motherfucker.

Pravda, Al-Beeb, the fifth column.

That's you that is.

Anonymous said...

What seperates your views from those Of Jorge Heider, Jean Marie Le Pen or the Valms Blok ?

Very little, you're all european extremists.

How dare you tarnish America's good name by attempting to associate your european prejudices with her ideals ?

thick as thieves said...

anon 2.32,
no no, 'tis you who hates this country, not us.
you dissembling cunt.
now, chickenshit, answer my question, what political party are you affiliated to?
if you do not answer this time, you will have to be prescribed a fuck off tablet.
what a slimy cunt!
hold on, keith vaz, is that you?

bob said...

Look at what this cunt writes:

"As Europeans you represent the very worst of what europe is capable of producing: facism."

Now I don't have a history degree but if my memory serves me right, England is the least likely country to vote for either nationalists or fascists.

You must really hate your country. Although I honestly doubt an Englishman would write such slanderous shit.

(I have just realised that by the spelling and ludicrous positions this mong has taken that he/she is in fact DES, I will now cease to rise, for the moment) .

45govt said...

Another (quelle surprise) anonycunt this one @ 2.32 and doubtless on the BBC's (our) time:-

"this continent that made you who you are....As Europeans you represent the very worst of what europe is capable of producing: facism."

The typical fascist accusation of yours is the big lie, repeated so often you have come to believe it yourself. We stand for freedom - individual freedom, which is anathema to the EUSSR ruling classes.
Made us what we are? You deluded cunt we led the world, and it is fifth-columnists like you who are determined that we become sheep.

Anonymous said...

In any case your pernicious views are an irrelevence.

Britain is America's slave. America set up the EU. And Britain's future is in Europe because that is where America wants her.

Every new organisation creates itself in the hearts and minds of the people through opposition.

The more you euro extremists like Goldsmith and Le Pen protest, the stronger the EU will get.

You are nothing more than cogs in Monet's conveyor belt.

As a pro European, I thankyou, little Eurofascists.

45govt said...

No bob- DES would have given himself away by his iliteracy by now - this is a semi-educated gobshite cunt.

thick as thieves said...

we fought hitler to defeat fascism and now we are fighting the fascist nature of the EU and fascist countries like Italy, and historically germany, spain and let's not forget the fascist rollover-cowards, france.
so you are quite right bob, anyone who calls the Btitish or English such names must be an agitator-retard.
and probably works at the bbc.

Anonymous said...


I would call you CUNTS, but I feel that cunts deserve more respect than that.

Anonymous said...

Have a wonderful afternoon.

thick as thieves said...

cunt 2.51,
no, you don't deserve any respect at all.
all you deserve is the rope.

Elby the Beserk said...

@Fascism, national socialism, communism are all European inventions said...

Surprisingly anonymous cunt @ July 2, 2008 1:26 PM.
Lets have a close look at your beloved Europe, & the rich cultural / political institutions it has "given" the British:
National Socialism

....& now the worst of all
three combined - the EU.

America has never attacked Great Britain & nor has it killed Britons anywhere near on the scale of your beloved Europe.

Sonny boy, the good old US of A would have got to fascism, no problem, given a history as old as Yurp's. Indeed, many see President Cokehead Alkie Bush as a precursor to Fascism, in his contempt for your constitution.

You'll get there, don't worry, and indeed, have made huge strides in the past 8 years.

Anonymous said...

Anon 10:41...Look at the American Health Service - millions of people are outside it, it rolls far too many pills and extracts vast sums for directors' profits.

A more effective public sector could do a great deal.
What socialist/proto-communist claptrap. The US life expectancy is better, cancer survival and heart disease survivaland the access to drugs for most is better, 6500 people didn't die last year from MRSA complicating surgery or the near 10,000 from C diff due to tractor prodcution targetry in the NHS.
Arent you ashamed that you kill people to maintain that throughput?
NHS a world leader...yes in killing people to keep politicians arses out of the fire! Glad you believe all that propaganda about the best in the world. As its the only one there's no competition. Even CHINA charges!

LOL from Planet Mad!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

stanislav said... Gerry and Cilla McCann... and hedges.

stanislav said...

Gerry and Cilla McCann, both doctors, should be in Government, surely. Only trouble is they wouldn't answer any questions put to them on the grounds that they were worthless cunts, the pair of them.

Got all the right attributes for politics - both doctors, vain, useless, cliche-spouting, selfish, fucking bastards who get some dumb fucks in the public to pay-off their mortgages. Seats in the Lords for Gerry and Cilla, both doctors. War on Portugal. Boycott Mateus Rose.

Mustn't be cynical. It is Gerry and Cilla, after all, who are the real victims here, innit.

Philomena Fishwife-McCann, people love her, don't they, she could be Gordon's PR machine. All she has to say is this is unhelpful at this time, anybody who knows Gordon knows he is a wonderful prime minister, he only slipped out for a quick blowjob, like any normal parent has done countless times and when he came back all the country's fucking money had fucking disappeared into thin fucking air, his friends saw somebody running off with it all under his arm, only they forgot to mention it until it looked like Gordon was going to jail and then Oh! Fuck me, there was loads of them, carrying all the country's money away, yes, I saw them, Me, too, didn't think it was inportant at the time.

The money was both locked-up securely and not locked-up at all, whichever. And anyway the big denomination notes were all quite capable of looking after the small denomination notes should they wake up frightened, or choking.

Gordon wants everyone in the world to go out and look in their sheds, and see if someone has put the money in thereerry and Cilla McCann, both doctors, should be in Government, surely. Only trouble is they wouldn't answer any questios put to them on the groubds that they were worthless cunts, the pair of them.

Got all the right attributes for politics - both doctors, vain, useless, cliche-spouting, selfish, fucking bastards who get some dumb fucks in the public to pay-off their mortgages. Seats in the Lords for Gerry and Cilla, both doctors. War on Portugal. Boycott Mateus Rose.

Mustn't be cynical. It is Gerry and Cilla, after all, who are the real victims here, innit.

Philomena Fishwife-McCann, people love her, don't they, she could be Gordon's PR machine. All she has to say is this is unhelpful at this time, anybody who knows Gordon knows he is a wonderful prime minister, he only slipped out for a quick blowjob, like any normal parent has done countless times and when he came back all the country's fucking money had fucking disappeared into thin fucking air, his friends saw somebody running off with it all under his arm, only they forgot to mention it until it looked like Gordon was going to jail and then Oh! Fuck me, there was loads of them, carrying all the country's money away, yes, I saw them, Me, too, didn't think it was inpoertant at the time.

The money was both locked-up securely and not locked-up at all, whichever. And anyway the big denomination notes were all quite capable of looking after the small denomination notes should they wake up frightened, or choking.

Gordon wants everyone in the world to go out and look in their sheds and see if someone has put the money in there -it is vital that w efind this money - but he can't look himself because he has to go on tv right now and look important.

It is quite a normal thing for busy professional people to leave the country's money lying around, alone, in the dark and unprotected we have all done it and so its three cheers all around for Gordon for losing us all our money, and not having to go to jail, like people who aren't dictors have to, Hip-hip Hooray....

Tuscan Tony said...

I see stan is bladdered again.

stanislav said...

Dear Mr Tony Tuscan

No Meditating on clipping a hundred metre hedge in this fucking Scottish rain between posting. No booze, chop my fucking leg off, else, Gremlins in the machine. Must need more olive oil pouring in.

love from stanislav

Tuscan Tony said...

Soothing virgin elixir on its way, in spirit of not physically. Not for use in garden machinery unlike Mr. Sid Yobbo nihilist Hitch, - he get no more oil from TT no way jose

Dear Mr Stanislav Unwin

No need to clip yer hedge twice.

Why clip it anyway? It only grows again. I suggest you set fire to it.

In fact I am surprised that, what with Hedge Rage being all the rage, more hedges are not set fire to. Certain species (resinous ones especially, like X Cupressocyparis leylandii, otherwise known as the Terror of the Suburbs) go up very nicely indeed when ignited with used chip-wrappings. Crush said wrappings into a ball, thrust into hedge, strike match, leg it away to safe distance, watch (a) merry blaze and (b) householders emerging & jumping up and down. If you can get multiple sources of ignition, so much the better -- an excellent use for the Daily Mirror, Independent, & other journals of integrity and note.

What species compose your hedge? In approximate order of flammability, I list some of the more popular hedge-components:

1. Hawthorn (hopeless -- like trying to set wire alight; flammability 0/10)
2. Beech 2/10
3. Hornbeam 3/10
4. Box 5/10
5. Wilson's honeysuckle 7/10
6. Yew 8/10
7. Juniper 9/10
8. Gorse (as favoured in Scotchland) 9/10
9. Leyland's cypress 10/10

I hope this information is thought-provoking and ultimately proves useful.

Your botanical friend


fire raiser said...

Dennis - you've missed a couple...

3= Holly 3/10 (All smoke no fire)
7.5 Privet 9/10

stanislav said...

All around here Jock shakes ginger beetle-browed head and says No, cannae grow they hedgerow thingies up here, the noo, in all this wind, ye ken, so best jump back in bed wi' yon wee schoolboy.

So stanislav grow half-mile, more, of thick luxuriant hedge, ten feet high and six feet thick and home to bird and bee and fuck knows what else, is like tropical fucking rain forest round here, get all burnt by winter's bitterbastard wind but come back right as fourpence every spring.

Jock is just idle fucking bastard, why bother with nurture and cultivate and make garden and oxygen and wildlife when best thing is drink giro and headbutt Mrs in chops, and get sent in anger management course off probation oficer; why bother make fucking exercise when hospital is free off English blokes' tax. Jock would have garden if social services come and make one and maintain but otherwise is no fucking chance.

Cannot, therefore, make hedge arson from hedge, matter of Anglo-Polish pride, - some corner of a foreign barbed wire-strung field that is forever England - but will consider possible flammability quotient of Jock, instead, bastard should go up like fucking rocket, innit, all that cheap booze and porridge and amyl nitrate.

Will come and discuss species of hedge in your bell tower, cynical bastards here probably not recover from yesterday's child care lessons. Me neither.

Jock response to noisy kid is, of course, throw down fucking stairs or go out and have quality time piss-up with professional Jock colleagues, leave kid alone and hope for fucking best, innit.

stanislav said... Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn ?

stanislav said...

Just like to say how nice it was to read all the child care stuff yesterday, quite like a proper antique newspaper.

I was wondering if we might look forward to horoscopes, perhaps some gardening, maybe Mrs Dale from next door might write a knittibg column. It's in times like these, when our betters are struggling hard on our behalf that the family needs a proper, decent, Christian newspaper, packed full with interesting stories and useful tips for all the family. Jolly good work Mr Fawkes.

Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn ?

stanislav said... Now, party suicide, that would be a Labour victory worth talking about.

stanislav said...

The Jock Tribesmen's Party can win this one but if he would get his idle, ginger, beetle-browed, cross-dressers down to the polling station in enough numbers, Sheikh Ali bin Salmond must think laterally.

Bearded Lady, Sir Sean Connery, is a busted jock flush, flying-in from Switzerland for a photo-op and some grunting now and again; shrieking old vamp, Annie Lennox, also from the Jock enclave in Switzerland, peddling her axpatriot nationalism may be effective among the odd closet heterosexual in the ranks but Jock wants real men, real men, that's what Jock craves.

It may betoken a shared interest in boys-in-care or in strapping Tommy Arkins - many of him the Jock version- in a chair and torturing him to death but Ali has been cultivating Mr Marty Kneecaps McGuinness of late; Marty, a fellow Patriot Gamester who would've died, y'know, so he would, in Long Kesh, if only he could have, but instead must struggle on with a six-figure salary and pension from English taxpayers, whom he has already cost trillions of hospital-building pounds.

Marty and Ali and some belligerent, sheep-shagging, Bread of Heaven imbecile troglodyte from Wales officially make common cause in order to cause difficulty for the Westminster Parliament - ie the rest of us, all fifty-five million of us.

There's food for thought, eh? The terrorist torturer; the wee, fat, smirking, cross-dresser and the coal-stained sheepshagger, all lavishly paid and pensioned by the taxpayers of England while openly conspiring against them.

Ali bin Salmond, anyway, if he toured Glasgow in an open-topped tartan 'bus with his chum, Marty Kneecaps, smiling his wee Semtex smile, the seat would be his. It would make little difference to the nice Polish and Chinese people who run Glasgow, but the indingenous Zombie neds, shuffling about in vomit-encrusted shellsuits, might be inspired to go down the polling booth, the noo, it doesn't matter that they cannae do that writing shite.

Those clever Alexander people, together with Nutter Brown, have fucked Labour more severely in Scotland than in England, Brown's one appearance at the Dunfermline by election handing it to the Toilets party.

So unnaturally, blood-curdlingly unpleasant, so viscerally repulsive, so nail-scrapingly on blackboard unnerving is this overstretched and overpromoted, cowardly and unpricipled unfortunate freak of nature that he wouldn't win an election in his own front room.

Even the people of Fife will never re-elect him, not even at gunpoint: Awa' and get tae fuck wi' ye, ye mad, snot-eating lunatic, yer no' representing me, awa' noo or I'll call the polis. An' dinnae come back nae more. D'ye hear, g'an, awa' wi ye, ye fucking eejit.

The Iraq occupation and all - via Jack Torture, Jackie Snotbuns, Blind Boy Blunkett, Lord Reid of Kabul and those sourgaced Ulster presbyterian cocksuckers - that has flowed from it, remain huge in Scotland's admirable, high-minded, dissident consciousness. Dawn raids, child internment, rendition flights, waterboarding, illegal munitions transport and Trident - all part of Brown's human rights agenda, rankle here ia way that they don't South. Labour is fucked in Scotland. Absolutely fucked.

And while, for many in Scotland, voting for the Jock Tribesmen is an act as uncivilised and abominable as keeping dogshit in the 'fridge, times are hard and Labour is rightly sees as public enemy number one.

The JockBeeb has its own rentagob psephologist, light entertainer and pretend professor, John Curtice, and these things are probably best left to people like him, withour proper jobs to go to. We might, however, consider. for ourselves that even those generationally affixed to the Labour Party are sickened to their stomachs by the Mandelson-Brown-Blair coup and the serried, suited ranks of thieving, degenerate ponces it has engendered on all sides of the house of commons.

Maybe Glasgow's Labout voters will, in fact, accomplish the overdue, necessary act from which Gordon - sick, mad, bad, spiteful, bilious, paranoid, fucked-up, rotten and filthy, floundering and hopeless - shrinks.

Maybe, even amid the pigmy tumult of Salmond's ignorant and fascistic Jock horde, it will be Brown's own countrymen, of his own party, who will persuade him, by their lack of support, that it really is time to Come out Gordon. Come out and fuck off. Now, party suicide, that would be a Labour victory worth talking about.

Monday, June 30, 2008

stanislav said... ...sanctimonious prats, the brothers Dimb

Anonymous said...

There must be some dirt on those sanctimonious prats the Dimblebey brothers. J was amanuensis for Chaz Windsor. D former member of Bullers and he is a patronising sod and very anti Tory. They are both serious shaggers.

Dear Mr Anonymous

...sanctimonious prats, the brothers Dimb

Oh please, God, send us some of that Dimbleby shit. I'll become a Mick, go to confession and everything; right in there with the noncing monsignors. A Hebie, even, change my name to MoshePlumbcheap4U and live on fucking anchovies and that fucking miserable bastard faminebread that's like sweepings-up from the floor of the Digestive biscuit factory, mixed with piss and dried in the airing cupboard. Grow a beard and live in Golders Green.

There's already something, innit, about those two and their respective Mrs Dimblebys.. Something aside from their wholly improper, hereditary lifelong domination of current affairs at the Beeb, that is.

Was Johnno there when Charlie went round to see Major Parker-Bowles ? Come to roger your old woman, don't mind do you. Not at all, Sir, not at all. Not on the rags is she, wouldn't want to be slipping her one in the servants entrance, eh, although come to think about, might make a change. Slip off now Parker-Wotsit and amuse yourself while I dip the royal wick in your wife, the mother of your children. Diana ? No idea, probably chomping on some wog doctor's cock, there must be a few she hasn't blown. Mad cunt. Threw herself down the stairs the other night, just like that. Anyway, all officers and gentlemen here, Mum's the word and there's a colonelcy in it for you. A brigade, maybe. Him ? One of those Dimbleby oiks. Dunno, old bean, just hangs around, grovelling; he can come and help me on and off with the old rubber johnny, eh, make himself useful. Won't be long old chap. Come and give her one yourself when I'm done, if you like. She's your Mrs.. Tally Ho! Dieu et mon droit, what?

stanislav said... From the Jocksman, one of the many British newspapers driven into the ground by MrJock Neil of the BBC.

stanislav said...

From the Jocksman, one of the many British newspapers driven into the ground by MrJock Neil of the BBC.

Scotland's McBaath party was celebrating in the streets yesterday after the beheading of it's sworn enemy, Wendy al Halibut, leader of the bin Alexander tribe; haggises were discharged into the air as grown men, sort of, wept for joy, their hands up each others' kilts, tongues down each others throats, in traditional McBaath fashion.

Vengeful, melancholy, embittered morons stormed the message boards of the Jock press, sat at home in their high-rise blocks, in the biggest council estate in England, eating lard pies, swigging Scotsmac and Irn Bru, the mad wee fantasists, probably wearing their skirts and their wee plaid socks, bless, leapt on any who declined the poisoned Nationalist chalice.

Ranting of the coming one-party McBaath state, these poor semi-literate, peasant tribesmen, the al-See-You-Jimmys, cutting and pasting the Infidels' comments and adding That's shite that is, you labour twat, - much too dumb to paraphrase or summarise, much less originate - gave a fair impersonation of 1930s Berlin or 1990s Baghdad, heedless that this is what poor Jock - like Fritz and Abdul - always does, follows some Messiahanic, jumped-up, cheesy sound-biting would-be Princeling into poverty and ignominy and while he often escapes to Europe, Jock doesn't.

Poor Jock cannae see that Kings, Princes and political careerists are just that. It is their own grandeur and conceit which concerns them, their own legacy, which, even should they raze and ruin all about, transcends.

Sitting, though, with his press secretary, Mr Ian Kneepads McWhirter of that ilk, surrounded by a crack regiment of the feared McBaath Revolutionary Guard (Grand Vizier Lady Sir Sean Connery and his Magic Sword, the hermaphrodite ginger singing duo, the al-Proclaimers and Lulu bin Botox ) and toasting events with a chilled glass of his own piss, the McBaath leader, Caliph Sheikh Ali bin Salmond, promised that he would sequester the salary and pension of the late Ms bin Halibut and add it to the three or four he currently received as leader of the Jock Caliphate, from the Infidel Englander taxpayers. As well as the five million dollars from his Local Democracy Secretary, Mr McDonald McTrump. He would do this, give this money to himself, he said, to cheers, for Scotland.

(The daft wee ginger bastards don't see that the bin-Salmond Jock Emirates will be merely a tiny dependent region of the unelected New European Order of Mandelson and Kinnock, Alec a fat, pompous satrap.)

He was now, he thought, smugly, the undisputed leader of the entire Jock Diaspora, which ran through job centres, battered wives refuges, prisons, detoxification units, STD cinics and mortuaries all across the known world. Crack open a barrel of my ain pish, the 2007 vintage, and drink ye your fill, lads, make yourselves worthy of me.

Ye shall be my weapons of mass inebriation, my warriors of idleness. Awa' ye tae Coventry, Birmingham and London, knife folk in the back, head-butt the Infidel when he expects ye not. But dinnae say I told you or we're all fucked.

Sheikh Ali, a pretend economist and a short, balding, oily little chap in built-up shoes had even more reason than usual to be pleased with himself. His octogenarian pretend wife was in a tent at the far side of the camp, tending the camels, McWhirter of The Herald was pleasuring him and he had adoring ginger men in skirts and shiny shoes all around, joyfully complicit in their own great Caravan to Doom.

Alec Ahbar !Alec Ahbar! Alec is Great, went up the cry around the camp as Jock Suicide Drinkers assembled, anxious to enter MacParadise and claim their free seventy-two beating-wives.

Far away, in London, Ali bin Salmond's other sworn enemy, el Sultan al presbyterian Gordon bin Brown was in a most mighty, tumultuous strop, biting other people's fingernails, hurling telephones at his secretaries, dashing every few minutes into the toilet for a fierce bout of dry masturbation, cursing Donald bin Skinflint Dewar and Tony el Miranda Blair with equal venom.

They fucking bastards up there, they'll fucking do for us, they will, give 'em their own fucking bastards parliament and look how the fucking bastards fucking well behave.

Regime change. That's the fucking answer. Send for the fucking army. Whaddayamean the army's no' fucking here, its stuck up some fucking wog mountainside in the arse-fucking-hole of fucking bastard fucking nowhere, where nobody, nobody, not even the whole bastard Red Fucking Army has ever beaten these beardy fucking wog arse bandits. What's it fucking doing there ? What ? John fucking Reid sent it there ? For a nice, wee rest ? The fucking useless, smelly little Weegie gangster, i knew he'd be in on it.

At the Zimbabwe Independent, Yasmin Alibhai Moslem and Jojo Lardboy Hari were quite lost for words. Yabbo hoped that, as Ali bin Salmond's co-religionist, she would be able to make-up some Speaking-as-a-moslem-woman rubbish in advance of the next Question Time; JoJo took some more drugs, inhaling, he hoped, inspiration and not cancer.

Mr stanislav, the former artisan and now prime ministerial spokesplumber reflected ruefully that, having mentioned brother Mugabe's similarities to Mr Brown, the prime minister, at some length yesterday, he seemed to be getting somewhat out of sync with what passes in Britain, for fucking reality and had better have a quick kip in the back of the van before he warped into another dimension, entirely.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

stanislav said...The art of politics is looking after numero uno with any good for the voters a fortunate and often accidental side effect.

Seaxe said...

Hmmmm, The good lady Poppinjay, she of the liberality with "favours", smarmy, smug, patronising child of Sunny Jim, worked her way up from the top, fancy school in south London path through every day life smoothed and cleared by Daddy and well connected friends. More socialising than socialist but a force to be reckoned with in the world of nepotism. Merit? Pah! Still, what did we expect? Daddy was a socialist from the working classes, so she would marry a bricklayer and live happily ever after on a nice little housing state in Milton Keynes. Where she brings up three kids who go to a local comp. They scrimp and save and by the time they have been married forty years they retire to a little bungalow near St. Leonards. "Nice 'ere innit?"

The art of politics is looking after numero uno with any good for the voters a fortunate and often accidental side effect.

stanislav said...

Dear Mr Seaxe

Amen, brother, hang 'em high, hallelujah, hang 'em high.

You just forgot that the obnoxious fuckpig Callaghan extended his patronage to son-in law and pretend economist, Peter Smarm, then married to his giant daughter, by appointing him UK Ambassador to the US. Margaret showed her pedigree by banging,as mentioned above, the Washington press corps.

Pete Smarm, having ditched the old slapper, Callaghan-Jay, became, briefly, the most embarrassing Economics editor ever sinecured by the BBC, worse than Fatarse Flanders and twinky Evan Davies combined. The Jay-Callaghans, an entirely rubbish couple, propelled by crooked Labour connections to heights infinitely above their joint or individual merits.

This horrid old outsize boot, sent by Socialist Farmer Jim to an exclusive, fee-paying, ladies' leg-spreading college, has championed state education while, like radical socialist MP, Diane Lard, educating her own spawn privately and expensively.

Jay's only experience of work is, like Gordon Brown's and her former husband's, in sucking cocks up and down the corridors of the BBC, Repulsive old slags, all of them. Baroness my arse, horrible old slapper. Up against the wall, motherfuckers.

Cassandra said...


A few addenda:

La Jay attended Blackheath High School GPDST which, at the time, was a direct grant school so it is possible that she had a "free place" i.e. was funded by the state as a substantial proportion of the girls would have been at that time. The Direct Grant system enabled many kids from less affluent backgrounds to attend selective academic schools. I forget who abolished it...

La Jay has a full CV. She was appointed as the first Director of the National AIDS Trust in spite of being the daughter of a former PM and the cousin by (ex)marriage of Virginia Bottomley. She was later given a peerage having, through her Ugandan discussions with one of the Government's main AIDS experts, provided a sterling example to yoof.

stanislav said...

Dear Mr Cassandra

stanislav go in direct fucking grant grammar school and not notice any peerage and life of ermine in subsidised bar and restaurant and brothel flowing his fucking way, innit, no job on quango with fifteen grand for half day a fucking month rubberstamping bent doctors. Maybe is because of plumbing heritage and not socialist egaliotarian aristo like Hilary Millionaire Benn, the unspeakable cunt and this poxed-up old bicycle, Jay and no, Mr Beast, you need eye test, can get fix-up off laser eye plumbing service for few hundred of pounds, stanislav can do if hand is steady. Unlike Mr Bob and Mr Guido and Mr Tuscan from Cyber Alcoholics AnonymousRus

Next time you feel like catching clap off Callaghan junior, instead just phone stanislavplumbcheap4u, get good earbashing, go away a sadder and a wiser beastman. Y'know, like wedding guest in Rime off Ancient Plumber, innit.

It is an Ancient plumber and he stoppeth one of three. The guests are met, the table set, now, wherefore stopp'st thou me ? Is mine khazi fuck-ed-up, with turd and condom and sanitary towel and bogroll flowing down mine esteem-ed staircase....etc.

stanislav, a young polish plumber said... Here in HMP UK we have other fish to fry.

stanislav, a young polish plumber said...

Dear Mr Englishman Abroad at 11.31

Yes, they have us stumbling abiout in a wilderness of mirrors. Yes, what is it with all this Zimbabwe shit ? Who gives a fuck? No, really, who gives such a fuck that it's all over the antique media? Emily Stick Insect and Jon Sopel wetting themselves under the newsreaders' desk; useless, thieving, Kofi Anan lisping himself into a frenzy of helplessness; ArchfuckingBishopfucking Tutu, Peace, Man-ing all over the place, and Reconciliation, wretched meddling grandstanding fucking hobgoblin And Billy the Kid doing his This is ay very serious matter Mr Deputy Spanker ay, might I say, very serious matter ah ah ah Mr Deputy Spunker, so serious that ay paid clown, Mr Deputy Splasher, of the after-dinner variety, such as the right honourable member, myself, should fuck off, not to put ah-ah too fine ay point on it, out of it; that will be fifteen hundred guineas, please....Did I ever tell members and right honourable members of my experience of drinking ay very considerable number, ay-ay-ay very considerable number of pints of coarse alcohol with some rough, muscular, perspiring working-class laddies, well, let me assure members of this place and the other place that I very quickly learned the ah ah ah veracity, Mr Deputy Spunker, of that old popular song, There Ain't Nothing Like Ay Gangbang, indeed there ain't Mr Deputy Spanker, indeed there ain't. There surely ain't, Nothing like ay gangbang. And ay session of sweaty, one-nation Tory man-love in the gym with Lord Sebastian is far more agreeable than being, if I may say so, the gangbangee.

And Nick Suit and Haircut, God fucking help us, the Chief Toileteer, pretending to be a world statesman, worthless, worthless, worthless cunt; Yes, I know it will be difficult for Zimbabweanesians to eat, without money being sent them from the UK but I have thought long and hard about it and, in my opinion, starve they must. There are more important things than living, although not for me, of course, rich people are more valued, after all, born, like myself, to lead. Into the toilets. Am I happy that some brown people may starve? No, of course I'm not, but better them than me and anyway, how else am I to distinguish my own leadership style from that of Field Marshal Ashdown's or my immediate predeceased leader, Mr Ming Whatsit QC, the old Scotch corpse. Am I saying that if I ruled the world everyday would be the first day of Spring? why, yes, I suppose I am. And if you are asking me, or as is more often the case in my interviews, am I asking myself, would every head be held up high, sunshine in everyone's eye then the answer is yes, only not counting the starving Zimbabweanesianites.

Who is this cunt, Clegg ? Who, in Zimbabwe or anywhere the fuck else cares what he thinks? Fucking idiot. Libdems, he said, far from going nowhere in the polls, are taking over the manning of toilets all over the North. Never mind that, what about a referendum on Europe?

Our Chinese friends whip the kidneys out of petty thieves before the bullet has gone through the back of their necks and come out the other side; China is a one-party gerontocratic dictatorship, too, with a dismal approach to human rights and a politics built on mountains of murdered citizens, yet Sir Ian Blair-Bendover allows armed Chinese thugs to roam the streets of London manhandling British citizens; David Millipede, the pretend foreign secretary doesn't say a word about that, horrible, malformed, hereditary fascist, yet he "expects" this, that and the other of Zimbabwe, like he was Lord fucking Nelson. As though anybody in the world gives a fuck what he says, most insignificant foreign secretary in history, good for fuck all, what must people think when they see this creep and the prime minister mincing around, the world, pretending to speak for Britain, looking for babies to purchase, spunkless, anaemic little turd; be better off with a Teletubbie in the FO.

Saudi Arabia and all those other eyeball-scoffing, barbarian shitholes chop people's heads and limbs off and stone women to death and yet Big Nancy Brown is over there making an even bigger cunt of himself than he already is; difficult though that is to accomplish, he is doing his very best. No censuring of Sheikh Ali Baba from our principled prime minister.

India throws young women alive into the funeral pyres of their dead old husbands, fucking savages, and considers many of its citizens to be sub-human, no talk from Millipede or Nick Halibut of economic sanctions against the Indian democracy.

And as for a few hundred deaths and some thousands made refugee in Zimbabwe, the UK parliament's support of Dubya's banditry in Eye-rack has killed maybe a million, maimed more and made millions refugee; Uncle Bob Mugabe's crimes are small beer compared with those of our own ZanuLab government and many others with whom we enjoy cordial relations. Why isn't the BBC showing tne ongoing reality of Iraq, four Global oil cartels now forcing, via the US puppet government, thrity year contracts ceding Ieaq's oil to GlobaCorp, without so much as a kiss-my-arse to the people who own it. Don't hear Emily taxing her limited intelligence with that one.

If Mugabe is all that bad and relatively speaking he is not, then its a matter for that idle cunt Tabu M'beki and all those other tinpot, head-shrinking, cannibal tribalists jointly running Africa into the ground, starving its peoples and shoving my money into Swiss bank accounts, let them cut his liver out and eat it before his eyes, like they do, bless, or let them dismember his grandchildren, hack them limb from limb with their charming, traditional machetes and that great sense of rhythm. It's their continent, Let them get on with it. Leave Gordon the JockBeast to his wanking, something he's good at

Here in HMP UK we have other fish to fry; a fascistic hegemony, characterised by the repulsive Mandelson, the swinish Kinnocks and the grinning Blairs, rimming each other around European capitals at my expense, dismantles, before our very eyes, everything good, quirky, different about this funny, imperfect little set of islands and they have the effrontery to tell us that even though they are not elected they know, better than we, the people, what is good for us. This, the destruction of the UK is rather more important than some shithole in Africa which, whoever is in power, will quickly revert to tribal type. That's what happens, that's what they do in Africa. Bob Geldof and his vile pampered degenerate spawn can go all go and fuck themselves with a knobkerrie. And Mr Bono, him too. Cunt.

Talk about bent elections in Africa, we have in the UK a prime minister doubly illegitimate; firstly, he is elected to Westminster by an electorate to which he is not accountable and he should take no part in implementing legislation for England and secondly, at the last general election, Cardinal Blair pledged that he would serve, if that's the word, a full term as prime minister. A bogus MP, Brown and bogus PM.

The very, very least the Labour Party should have done, if it had a shred of honour, the very least Brown should have insisted upon was the calling of an immediate general election to validate his position. Instead this wretched,cowardly, bullying, mis-shapen, ill-tempered and unqualified freak attempts to bamboozle the democratic process with Jock blether about values, the rotten, two-faced, presbyterian hypocrite; instead, this stuttering, gibbering, squirming, shameless snot-eating prick dismantles our rights, our freedoms and pollutes the very temper of our discourse, sewing fear and suspicion among a people who - without the co-operation, mind, of Jean-Jacques and Mario and Sven, all then busy bending over for Fritz - withstood not just a July bombing but a daily blitz of hundreds of tons of hot metal falling on their heads, lasting for years.

Gordon M'Brown, Jacqui M'Smith and Jack M'Torture are a far greater menace to this country and, demonstrably, the world, than is Robert Mugabe. All would imprison their citizens without charge, all, especially M'Torture, would accept as evidence material obtained by barbarism, cruelty and terror; all mock the electoral process, all act as judge and jury in their own cases, all empower politicised police chiefs to gun down law-abiding citizens; all would urge detention without charge, trial with anonymous witnesses, the curtailing and eventual abandonment of jury trials; all support kidnap, torture, rendition, massive embezzlement, fraud and corruption extending even to appointments to the legislature; taxpayers' money funneled to dodgy financiers, books cooked, statitics cooked, graft, incompetence, malfeasance and international banditry; the citizen locked-out of a crooked state propaganda broadcaster; aren't these aspects of modern Britain exactly what so many mean here by the epithet ZanuLabour ?

When we have a referendum or an election, when the thieving bastards in Brussels and Westminster, especially le famille Kinnock, are sacked and jailed, instead of mildly admonished by their own, then it might be time for wall-to-wall bitching about Zimbabwe, but preferably China. In the meantime, Zimbabwe is a useful diversion for those who so mis-serve us and for their pimps in the antique media.

George Steiner wrote that the holocaust happened because the Berlin intelligentsia was too engrossed listening to the string quartet in the salon to hear the cry in the street. We are heading rapidly into a Euro police state and we dally with Zimbabwe at our peril. The phony, aching conscience of Radio Four, the faux reportage of Newsnight, the stagey confrontations of Jock Neil and the bogus liberalism of Rusbridger's Guardian, this ensemble is our string quartet, this is the fifth column, we have our own regiment of Mugabes, gleefully force-feeding each other with public money, pensions, honours and mansions; these and not Zimbabwe should be the focus, these, the fascists of MediaMinster, are the real enemy, the enemy within.

stanislav said...

ps. thanks Guido and others for the sleaze digest. How low are we sunk that such a thing can be so routinely assembled, without there being a national outcry ?

Dennis said...

Marshall's daughter -- looks distinctly porcine to me, esp. the uptilt on the nostrils.

Her pater was a Glaswegian bus conductor, just the kind of high-octane talent that has thrust UK plc into the forefront of the world economy. He considered each and every parliamentary vote on its merits and by the exacting demands of his conscience. Not for him the swinish conformity into which lesser MPs are bullied by the whips.

He will be a great loss to the country. His grateful constituents will rightly spurn the opportunist advances of the SNP.

Or not, as the case may be.

stanislav said...

Dear Mr Dennis

I thought we were agreed. Your bit is punctuation, re-hashing Juke Box Jury with Mr Beast; securing the bonnet catches on Triumph Herald variants; issues around having sexual relations with dwarves and mobility challeneges faced by disabled bell-ringers, y'know, old-aged cripple shit. You leave Jock to me; there'll be trouble, else.

love from stanislav

Dennis said...

Stan, fair enough. To you I bequeath any and all surrealist bile encompassing the usual Hibernian suspects, as: Kirsty McWarrrk, Wendy and Doogie, Speaker McMartin of That Trough, Robert McGabe, Archbishop McTutu, Thabo McBeki -- who I found today is an "alumnus" of my own university & with another tinted student gentleman haunted many of the low caffs and pubs frequented by my vanished self, including a restaurant called The Black Cat, on the streetdoor of which, one midday when I required victuals, I was not really astonished to find a sign reading "Closed for Lunch". Said McBeki preceded me there by quite a few years and was enrolled in another School, but still the association is disagreeable and clouds otherwise happily memories, enfumed in cannabis, of obliging middle-class girls freed for the first time from the shackles of home.