Sunday, June 29, 2008

stanislav, a young polish plumber said... Here in HMP UK we have other fish to fry.

stanislav, a young polish plumber said...

Dear Mr Englishman Abroad at 11.31

Yes, they have us stumbling abiout in a wilderness of mirrors. Yes, what is it with all this Zimbabwe shit ? Who gives a fuck? No, really, who gives such a fuck that it's all over the antique media? Emily Stick Insect and Jon Sopel wetting themselves under the newsreaders' desk; useless, thieving, Kofi Anan lisping himself into a frenzy of helplessness; ArchfuckingBishopfucking Tutu, Peace, Man-ing all over the place, and Reconciliation, wretched meddling grandstanding fucking hobgoblin And Billy the Kid doing his This is ay very serious matter Mr Deputy Spanker ay, might I say, very serious matter ah ah ah Mr Deputy Spunker, so serious that ay paid clown, Mr Deputy Splasher, of the after-dinner variety, such as the right honourable member, myself, should fuck off, not to put ah-ah too fine ay point on it, out of it; that will be fifteen hundred guineas, please....Did I ever tell members and right honourable members of my experience of drinking ay very considerable number, ay-ay-ay very considerable number of pints of coarse alcohol with some rough, muscular, perspiring working-class laddies, well, let me assure members of this place and the other place that I very quickly learned the ah ah ah veracity, Mr Deputy Spunker, of that old popular song, There Ain't Nothing Like Ay Gangbang, indeed there ain't Mr Deputy Spanker, indeed there ain't. There surely ain't, Nothing like ay gangbang. And ay session of sweaty, one-nation Tory man-love in the gym with Lord Sebastian is far more agreeable than being, if I may say so, the gangbangee.

And Nick Suit and Haircut, God fucking help us, the Chief Toileteer, pretending to be a world statesman, worthless, worthless, worthless cunt; Yes, I know it will be difficult for Zimbabweanesians to eat, without money being sent them from the UK but I have thought long and hard about it and, in my opinion, starve they must. There are more important things than living, although not for me, of course, rich people are more valued, after all, born, like myself, to lead. Into the toilets. Am I happy that some brown people may starve? No, of course I'm not, but better them than me and anyway, how else am I to distinguish my own leadership style from that of Field Marshal Ashdown's or my immediate predeceased leader, Mr Ming Whatsit QC, the old Scotch corpse. Am I saying that if I ruled the world everyday would be the first day of Spring? why, yes, I suppose I am. And if you are asking me, or as is more often the case in my interviews, am I asking myself, would every head be held up high, sunshine in everyone's eye then the answer is yes, only not counting the starving Zimbabweanesianites.

Who is this cunt, Clegg ? Who, in Zimbabwe or anywhere the fuck else cares what he thinks? Fucking idiot. Libdems, he said, far from going nowhere in the polls, are taking over the manning of toilets all over the North. Never mind that, what about a referendum on Europe?

Our Chinese friends whip the kidneys out of petty thieves before the bullet has gone through the back of their necks and come out the other side; China is a one-party gerontocratic dictatorship, too, with a dismal approach to human rights and a politics built on mountains of murdered citizens, yet Sir Ian Blair-Bendover allows armed Chinese thugs to roam the streets of London manhandling British citizens; David Millipede, the pretend foreign secretary doesn't say a word about that, horrible, malformed, hereditary fascist, yet he "expects" this, that and the other of Zimbabwe, like he was Lord fucking Nelson. As though anybody in the world gives a fuck what he says, most insignificant foreign secretary in history, good for fuck all, what must people think when they see this creep and the prime minister mincing around, the world, pretending to speak for Britain, looking for babies to purchase, spunkless, anaemic little turd; be better off with a Teletubbie in the FO.

Saudi Arabia and all those other eyeball-scoffing, barbarian shitholes chop people's heads and limbs off and stone women to death and yet Big Nancy Brown is over there making an even bigger cunt of himself than he already is; difficult though that is to accomplish, he is doing his very best. No censuring of Sheikh Ali Baba from our principled prime minister.

India throws young women alive into the funeral pyres of their dead old husbands, fucking savages, and considers many of its citizens to be sub-human, no talk from Millipede or Nick Halibut of economic sanctions against the Indian democracy.

And as for a few hundred deaths and some thousands made refugee in Zimbabwe, the UK parliament's support of Dubya's banditry in Eye-rack has killed maybe a million, maimed more and made millions refugee; Uncle Bob Mugabe's crimes are small beer compared with those of our own ZanuLab government and many others with whom we enjoy cordial relations. Why isn't the BBC showing tne ongoing reality of Iraq, four Global oil cartels now forcing, via the US puppet government, thrity year contracts ceding Ieaq's oil to GlobaCorp, without so much as a kiss-my-arse to the people who own it. Don't hear Emily taxing her limited intelligence with that one.


If Mugabe is all that bad and relatively speaking he is not, then its a matter for that idle cunt Tabu M'beki and all those other tinpot, head-shrinking, cannibal tribalists jointly running Africa into the ground, starving its peoples and shoving my money into Swiss bank accounts, let them cut his liver out and eat it before his eyes, like they do, bless, or let them dismember his grandchildren, hack them limb from limb with their charming, traditional machetes and that great sense of rhythm. It's their continent, Let them get on with it. Leave Gordon the JockBeast to his wanking, something he's good at

Here in HMP UK we have other fish to fry; a fascistic hegemony, characterised by the repulsive Mandelson, the swinish Kinnocks and the grinning Blairs, rimming each other around European capitals at my expense, dismantles, before our very eyes, everything good, quirky, different about this funny, imperfect little set of islands and they have the effrontery to tell us that even though they are not elected they know, better than we, the people, what is good for us. This, the destruction of the UK is rather more important than some shithole in Africa which, whoever is in power, will quickly revert to tribal type. That's what happens, that's what they do in Africa. Bob Geldof and his vile pampered degenerate spawn can go all go and fuck themselves with a knobkerrie. And Mr Bono, him too. Cunt.

Talk about bent elections in Africa, we have in the UK a prime minister doubly illegitimate; firstly, he is elected to Westminster by an electorate to which he is not accountable and he should take no part in implementing legislation for England and secondly, at the last general election, Cardinal Blair pledged that he would serve, if that's the word, a full term as prime minister. A bogus MP, Brown and bogus PM.

The very, very least the Labour Party should have done, if it had a shred of honour, the very least Brown should have insisted upon was the calling of an immediate general election to validate his position. Instead this wretched,cowardly, bullying, mis-shapen, ill-tempered and unqualified freak attempts to bamboozle the democratic process with Jock blether about values, the rotten, two-faced, presbyterian hypocrite; instead, this stuttering, gibbering, squirming, shameless snot-eating prick dismantles our rights, our freedoms and pollutes the very temper of our discourse, sewing fear and suspicion among a people who - without the co-operation, mind, of Jean-Jacques and Mario and Sven, all then busy bending over for Fritz - withstood not just a July bombing but a daily blitz of hundreds of tons of hot metal falling on their heads, lasting for years.

Gordon M'Brown, Jacqui M'Smith and Jack M'Torture are a far greater menace to this country and, demonstrably, the world, than is Robert Mugabe. All would imprison their citizens without charge, all, especially M'Torture, would accept as evidence material obtained by barbarism, cruelty and terror; all mock the electoral process, all act as judge and jury in their own cases, all empower politicised police chiefs to gun down law-abiding citizens; all would urge detention without charge, trial with anonymous witnesses, the curtailing and eventual abandonment of jury trials; all support kidnap, torture, rendition, massive embezzlement, fraud and corruption extending even to appointments to the legislature; taxpayers' money funneled to dodgy financiers, books cooked, statitics cooked, graft, incompetence, malfeasance and international banditry; the citizen locked-out of a crooked state propaganda broadcaster; aren't these aspects of modern Britain exactly what so many mean here by the epithet ZanuLabour ?

When we have a referendum or an election, when the thieving bastards in Brussels and Westminster, especially le famille Kinnock, are sacked and jailed, instead of mildly admonished by their own, then it might be time for wall-to-wall bitching about Zimbabwe, but preferably China. In the meantime, Zimbabwe is a useful diversion for those who so mis-serve us and for their pimps in the antique media.

George Steiner wrote that the holocaust happened because the Berlin intelligentsia was too engrossed listening to the string quartet in the salon to hear the cry in the street. We are heading rapidly into a Euro police state and we dally with Zimbabwe at our peril. The phony, aching conscience of Radio Four, the faux reportage of Newsnight, the stagey confrontations of Jock Neil and the bogus liberalism of Rusbridger's Guardian, this ensemble is our string quartet, this is the fifth column, we have our own regiment of Mugabes, gleefully force-feeding each other with public money, pensions, honours and mansions; these and not Zimbabwe should be the focus, these, the fascists of MediaMinster, are the real enemy, the enemy within.


stanislav said...

ps. thanks Guido and others for the sleaze digest. How low are we sunk that such a thing can be so routinely assembled, without there being a national outcry ?


Dennis said...

Marshall's daughter -- looks distinctly porcine to me, esp. the uptilt on the nostrils.

Her pater was a Glaswegian bus conductor, just the kind of high-octane talent that has thrust UK plc into the forefront of the world economy. He considered each and every parliamentary vote on its merits and by the exacting demands of his conscience. Not for him the swinish conformity into which lesser MPs are bullied by the whips.

He will be a great loss to the country. His grateful constituents will rightly spurn the opportunist advances of the SNP.

Or not, as the case may be.


stanislav said...

Dear Mr Dennis

I thought we were agreed. Your bit is punctuation, re-hashing Juke Box Jury with Mr Beast; securing the bonnet catches on Triumph Herald variants; issues around having sexual relations with dwarves and mobility challeneges faced by disabled bell-ringers, y'know, old-aged cripple shit. You leave Jock to me; there'll be trouble, else.

love from stanislav


Dennis said...

Stan, fair enough. To you I bequeath any and all surrealist bile encompassing the usual Hibernian suspects, as: Kirsty McWarrrk, Wendy and Doogie, Speaker McMartin of That Trough, Robert McGabe, Archbishop McTutu, Thabo McBeki -- who I found today is an "alumnus" of my own university & with another tinted student gentleman haunted many of the low caffs and pubs frequented by my vanished self, including a restaurant called The Black Cat, on the streetdoor of which, one midday when I required victuals, I was not really astonished to find a sign reading "Closed for Lunch". Said McBeki preceded me there by quite a few years and was enrolled in another School, but still the association is disagreeable and clouds otherwise happily memories, enfumed in cannabis, of obliging middle-class girls freed for the first time from the shackles of home.

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