Thursday, June 26, 2008
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Stanislav's Rants on Guido (www.order-order.com) plus whatever else tickles my fancy.
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About Me
- Plumbers Assistant
- This blog is a compilation of Stanislav's Rants as they appear on Guido. It is neither operated nor sanctioned by him. If you don't like it, don't come back.
It is an honour to follow the honourable member for plumbers who is always pungent in his remarks to this place, I fear, however, that in this instance he wanders a little from his own discipline into that of others more qualified. I refer, of course, to the vexed question of criminal justice which is a rather more demanding subject than, shall we say, the replacement of a u-bend 'neath one's sink. Other ladies and gentlemen members of a more practical bent may have become aware, in their ownership of several properties, that such matters as these are easily remedied by the widely available white plastic plumbing fittings which require little skill in assembly although one must, to do justice to the traditions of this place, claim for the highest quality specialist professional services even if one cleared one's blocked sink with a bent coathanger. In this way is democracy served and the artisan thwarted. Too much, ladies and gentlemen, to my mind, is made of these dubious so-called practical skills of the lower orders and too little of the selfless profesionalism so freely deployed to the public good by right honourable and learned members, such as myself.
But to move to the main thrust, Madam Deputy Spunker, of my remarks, I would like to propose that the experiment with rights, and let's face it, that is all it has been, has been a signal failure. It doesn't matter how many laws we enact - and God knows, we do try to keep 'em coming, so to speak, Madam Deputy Spanker - people simply keep on doing things against which we in this house have no legislative protection.
No matter how many laws, how many emergecny provisions are passed - many only after much heart-searching by our rebel friends on the Labour back benches, rightly anxious of their peerages - it seems that we sinply cannot, by passing laws, contain, the criminality of the average voter.
So serious has this situation become that not only are voters acting in ways which we have not yet made illegal but they are impudently attempting to use against US laws which we passed against THEM.
I propose a simple solution which I am sure will find favour among all honourable and right honourable members. As I have mentioned, no matter how hard we try, by giving people a list of what they may not do, we leave it open to them to devise other, quite legal ways to make a nuisance of themselves, to the disservice of we in this house and our sponsors in the banks and the stock exchange. We are thus, Madam Deputy Splasher, looking down the wrong end of the telescope.
Instead of telling people what they may not do we should simply tell them what they must do. Simple really, so simple that all these recent years we have missed it, even though it stares us in the face. What we must enact, most speedily and I am sure with the full support of all in this house, is a very simple piece of legislation which replaces all others and which states quite simply that people must, without queetion - and on pain of a visit from Sir Iain's gelled-up and macho Democracy-Enforcement Unit - do exactly as they told by those, that is to say us, who know better.
In a proper, adult and mature democracy, Madam Deputy Whiplash, people simply must do as they are told. I so move.