stanislav's blues said...More Adventures of Knacker

stanislav's blues said...

More Adventures of Knacker


Its five pm and I’m Eddy Smug, Mmmm, doesn’t my voice sound nice, all warm, and Scotch. The BBC has learned that the entire Metropolitan Police Service is to be re-deployed to the Star of Islamabad Balti House in Hackney after complaints from its owner, Mr Ali Baba Musharoom, that his own Security Service “ was rubbish, innit, can’t catch fucking cold.” Mr Field Marshall Musharoom had called on UK Premier Mr Snot, for assistance in investigating the slaying of a joint-owner of the troubled restaurant, a Mrs Bhutto. It was hoped that in the true tradition of British Justice that by the time the Met reported no bastard on Earth would remember that he had killed Mrs Bhutto himself. This was the clear purpose of the Met under its distinguished Commissioner, Lady Sir Iain Bendover. Mr Snot said that Mr Musharoom could have the whole fucking Met, the Crown Prosecution Service and M I fucking 5 if it kept the bastards off his back .

Mr and Mrs Cockney Sparrer told PM that they never saw no bleeding coppers anyway, only when there was poor bleeding Brazilians to be machine-gunned, so it didn’t make no fucking difference if they was all sent down the curry house.

Speaking to me earlier London Mayor, Mr Ken Chicken Tikka Masala said , Well, Eddie, all werking clarse Lahndunners will approve of this here wotever is, apples an pears, apples an pears, trouble an strife, frog an toad, whistle and flute, dog an bone. Maybe its because I'm a Londoner....


This has been me, Eddie Smug, why don’t you let us know what you think about British Bobbies being sent down the curry house whilst there is fucking mayhem on the streets, children knifing one another in their prams, grannies kidnapped, raped and burnt alive on bonfires and we’ll ignore it. Gosh, don’t I sound nice. All warm, a bit mischievous, playful even, but definitely a real man.

5:48 PM, January 02, 2008