Monday, June 2, 2008
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Stanislav's Rants on Guido (www.order-order.com) plus whatever else tickles my fancy.
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- This blog is a compilation of Stanislav's Rants as they appear on Guido. It is neither operated nor sanctioned by him. If you don't like it, don't come back.
Japanese and UK premiers' press conference dominated by 42 Day shit.
That little Jap bugger at lunch time, good job that, despite all that Bushido shit, the Bridge Over the River Kwai, the failed kamikaze carry-on, having not one but two atom bombs falling on his ancestors, being occupied by Coca Cola and then overwhelmed by Honda and Sony, despite all that happening it was not an incentive to Tojo Banzai! or whatever his fucking name is, to learn English like a proper nip prime minister. Just as well, really, if the little dog-eating, noodle-munching, tea-swigging bastard had understood one word from the loony stood next to him he would have thought he'd wandered into some barbarian mental health establishment on press day.
Why prime minister, do you want to lock people up for six weeks? What you don't understand, like I do, is that there are non-presbyterian Jihadists under the beds of every hard-working British family. The very fact that you don't believe me is exactly why you are not to be trusted with the evidence which I have seen, the police have to examine every computer in the world, y'know, before deciding to empty their magazines into someone's head in order to let off steam from the very real stress which their magnificent professionalism leads to in this time of global economic turbulence which isn't my fault and anyway people say that the Jihadis want to turn us into an authoritarian, patriarchal and illiberal society thus destroying our freedoms but my responsibility as mansekeeper in chief is to do this before they can thus protecting, actually, the freedoms which you say I am eroding but just not letting you have them anymore. It would be complete dereliction of my moral compass to let some bunch of raghead, heathen Mohammedans terrorise the country when we in the Labour party are ideally equipped to do it ourselves in order to keep you free from them but not from us. Now, as to Africa...No, no, no, it is not a vote of confidence, what we are doing in order to maintain the civil liberties of our people is to confine them safely, albeit in luxurious open prison conditions in HMP UK. It is only by locking all the people up that we can safeguard their freedoms properly. It is only by admitting their guilt that the people can ever feel truly innocent.
It might become necessary for Lord High Executioner, sorry, Chancellor Jack Torture to issue warrants for the libertarian waterboarding branch of Sir Ian Blair-Bendover's Community Protection Force to interrogate some people lifted off the street at random until they confess their guilt; it is only in this way that we can properly illustrate the government's case that the people who believe that government is the servant of the people need to be locked-up and tortured, quite legally, as in America, indefinitely, in order that government can prevent the vast majority of hard-working, law-abiding, soon to be homeless, British families from being radicalised. This is not in any way a move towards a police state but simply brings us into line with other European democracies in which anybody can be locked up indefinitely at the whim of a politician, a judge and that fruitcake, wotsisname, yes, Lord Carlisle of the Toilets Party.
My father, a man of god, too, used to sing that old Scottish hymn, by Jock Jockstrapperson: Me and Jock McGhee, with it's famous chorus: Och, freedom's just another word for nothing left tae lose, the noo. The current threat we face is very much like that hymn: you havenae any fucking money, yer hames are worth less that ye pay for them, ye have nae fucking jobs, yer weans roam the streets knifing each other and raping old ladies, all youse can do is look at yer cars, ye cannae afford nae fucking petrol because of global economic turbulence, the hospitals are death camps, like matey here beside me used to run, what the fuck use tae ye are civil liberties? Just be grateful we're abolishing them. One big unhappy prison population, HMP UK, there, thats mah Vision. Tojo, must be your turn for a question, tell them that one about Africa.
Ah, so. Hangyew vay mush py-minstah. Hangyew. Jap go home now, sadda man but wysa. Waughh is ova, Meesta Bwown, come out, now, from jungal. Waughh is ova. Somebody fetch doctah faw Meesta Bwown. Fuck me, how these mad cunts win fucking waugh ?