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"...its called Snot-Land and it's kinda like an Indian reservation"
Spot on! Do the US Red Indians have votes too, though?
Well done Stan, its tipping in Tuscany but Ah's a smilin'
Happey Easter to you and the other pipewrenchers
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Mr Tuscan Tony.
Thank you. Force 10 here again in bonny Scotland, maybe 11, maybe hurricane but hey, Wendy the Loch Ness monster is rehabilitated so that's like a ray of sunshine all of its own. One of her campaign staff did the wrong shit, she said, not her, even though it wasn't really wrong shit anyway. A good job those people in the prosecutors' office were donors to her campaign, too, or there would have been a conflict of interest.
Scotland, as we say in the plumbing community, too big to be small, too small to be big; the widely despised, maladroit, worthless, dishonest, lying piece of shit, Wendy, it's most accurate, characteristic and telling political personification.
Alec Salmond, meanwhile, triple salaried and pensioned minority Lavender King, so pleased with himself that he bathes in his own piss, has vowed, for the next seven days, to Eat for Scotland - haggis, oats, rhubarb, haggis, chips 'n' Mars bar, turnips, shortcake, haggis, potatoes, caramel wafers and tinned custard - as part of a national promotion of Scotch haute coronary cuisine. Honest, not invent.
King Alec's subjects, fucked off with his daily, populist, horseshit proclamations of what next is to be free (if only the English will give Scotland ALL their money ) and of the daily dozen photos of Salmond shaking hands with some cunt or other and smirking like a nonce in a kindergarten hope fervently that the already porcine monarch explodes in a shower of tartan, lard and blood; self absorption mingling fatally with self-abuse.
Scotland, sickest, dirtiest, fattest, most addicted, murderous, sectarian, lawless, drunken, corrupt country in Europe. Aye, that'll be thanks to the politicians, then. Alexander or Salmond, not a Rizla paper between them, thieving, lying bastards both, one in a kilt, one in a trouser suit; both of them, despite their poxy airs and graces, funded entirely by the rest of us, whom they believe to be stupid, gullible, impotent, contemptible; both having far more in common with each other than with we, who pay them.
Homeward bound from Edinburgh one Thursday afternoon to Inverness, stanislav sat in the first-class buffet car of the Highland Chieftain in close proximity to a table full of braying MSPs returning home for the weekend. Although they would arrive home in Inverness at seven in the evening, plenty of time to eat at home, all ordered a full dinner - salmon, fillet steak, asparagus- with wines and brandies; the best of everything. SNP, Brownites, Tories or Toileteers, that's what they're like. That's what they do. Shit, first class, in our faces.
love from stanislav
a GOOD FRIDAY MESSAGE FROM A RECENT VISITOR TO OUR SHORES
An extract from President McCain's prepared inauguration speech.
"Mah fellow Motherfuckers.
As you all know, I fought and died for this great country of ours many times over.
And I single-handedly beat that low-down, slope-eye chink, Ho Chi Minh, to a pulp, delivering this country it's great victory in Indo-China.
And I'll do the same in Eye-rack. You betcha. Just another fifty-six thousand dead'll do it. And then we can pull out victoriously. Clinging to overloaded helicopters. Shitting ourselves and betraying our allies.
And all them Palestinian goat-fucking sonsabitches. President John McCain will take 'em all on, one hand tied to his Zimmer frame. Give them ragheads a good kick in the butt, bit of napalm three times a day. Show 'em who's boss.
But as I stand before you today, a white, male heterosexual, neither a vengeful sperm-hating dyke, nor a hammy nigra, I swear before God-A-mighty what I won't do, mah fellow Murkins, is go over there again in Englandistan with them sick Limey cocksuckers. Not until Hell freezes over.
D'you know they got a foreigner in charge over there? A pansy ? Gets hisself elected in some other shithole gay banana republic - its called Snot-Land and it's kinda like an Indian reservation, full of wife-beating, workshy, drunken, trannyboy bums - and then comes swishing into England, stages a coup with the help of the cheesy, cocksucking pricks in the press and on the Government Radio and winds up ruling the roost. He'll rig the next election, you bet your sweet ass he will. Job for the UN is my guess. Regime change.
Got hisself a whole retinue of bumboys, dykes and non-gender-specific cocksuckers. Whole government is crawling with faghags, brown-hatters, drag queens, carpet munchers, drug addicts, thieves, extortionists, self-flagellating holy rollers, blackmailers, money-launderers, sex maniacs and paedophiliac sonsabitches.
None of them UK Democrats ever done a day's Goddamned work in their shabby, degenerate cocksucking lives. Never been in business, never been in the military. Worthless, idle, dope-smoking Maoist pricks, all of them.
The Goddamned shit-eating UK Senate is just the same, with seats for sale at half a million bucks upwards. Sodom and fucking Gomorrah, noble LordsanLadies, Sodom and fucking Gomorrah.
This sorry-assed, one-eyed fairy jerk is known as the great clunking fist. Now, any native New Yorker or San Franciscan will know just exactly what that means but for our friends, our fellow motherfuckers, out there in Christianity USA, what the London Government fags do is get drugged-up and shove their fists up each others' assholes. No, not their dicks, their clenched fists. No, READ MY LIPS, fists. I'm not shitting you. I seen pictures. Down at the FBI office. But then the Limey President, a Mr Nancy Brown, comes from a strange sect, its like a cross between Scientology, Mothercare and the farther end of the S & M spectrum. And shoving their fists up each other's assholes is kinda like an act of worship, something they do under what they call collective asshole responsibility. Every Thursday in the UK White House in Downing Street.
It was the last Limey cocksucker, that guy who was working for Haliburton USA, the one with the ugly, freeloading wife with a kisser like a black hole in space. Fuck me, mah fellow Motherfuckers, that's one ugly broad, that Mrs Blair. And bangs like a Kansas shithouse door in a gale, I unnerstand, do it with anybody - men, women, nigras, Costa Ricans, Indians, Australians and fucking senior citizen communist lawyers. No shit. Kids're all fucked-up, the one guy falling over drunk on his ass all the time and gotta be carried home by the London Law Enforcement. Whole stinking mess covered-up with D-notices. D notice is when the Limey press agrees to not embarrass the Limey government in exchange for seats in the Limey Senate.
Anyway, it was her old man, Miranda, who told the whole English nation that this new guy was a screaming fister. Couldna been no plainer for Chrissakes. And he oughta know, being one of the fairy asshole-kissing persuasion hisself, Lady Miranda of Lourdes, Baghdad and the Vatican. Nobody paid him no mind at the time. They do now. Especially since the whole fucking freedom-loving world seen this freak munching on his nose broccoli, right there in the UK Congress. What kind of a sick fuck does that? No. Honest. He did. Saw it with mah own eyes. And when he'd done, he wiped his fingers clean on his necktie. And he goes around having his picture taken with schoolkids. Man's a fucking train wreck.
But - mah fellow, stoopid, overweight, flag-waving, retarded, infantile, motherfucker imbeciles - as we say in the White House, bin there one time, bin there two times, mm mmm never goin' back again. i love you all. But not those fucking Limey creeps. Catch any of them over here interfering with the constitution and it'll be up against the wall, special relationship motherfuckers. God Bless America. "
Happy easter from stanislav