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Stanislav's Rants on Guido (www.order-order.com) plus whatever else tickles my fancy.
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- Plumbers Assistant
- This blog is a compilation of Stanislav's Rants as they appear on Guido. It is neither operated nor sanctioned by him. If you don't like it, don't come back.
Stanislaw get pull over in van from Old Bill. Is drive down road listen to last night of English proms cd and wave arms around to conduct invisible orchestra in God Save fucking Queen. Fuck me, is blue lights flash and get pull over like had home sec Big Jacqui Snotbun up in cab. Anyway Old Bill see is Stanislav, friendly and cheap plumber off Internet, accept fifty quid bribe for coppers Christmas fund, and send on way on urgent plumbing mission. And next song is Rule Britannia, Britons never never never shall be slave. Up until today and Lisbon Concordat. Is very sad day for Anglophile. Rule Britannia, Britannia rule wave, Briton never never never shall be slave. Stand-up alone to Nazi bastard when French army and everybody else (apart from good Poles) bend over and say, yes please Hermann, stick Luger up my arse please, ooh, yes please, surrender ? Not half.
Over here is eat spam and powder egg and melt down frying pan to make hand grenade and spitfire, fight on beach and kick arse off landing ground, go in bed and get blow-up in fucking blitz from Luftwaffe, go down on knees to fucking Nazi US Congress for few rusty old destroyers, fight on alone and hungry and in France frogs all collaborateur and say, oh yes Mr Himmler, I know where is fucking jew bastard and help SS men round up and beat and send off to death camp, vive la Belle France, eh, mes amis. And in Holland is same, Oh yes Mr SS is some nasty jew children hide over here, come and find and send away from la Belle France. And oh yes Mr speer use these slave labourers and not make waves, is only filthy slavs and fucking jew and thieving gippo, not real human. In Italy oily spaghetti chompers is run away from own shadow and hide in Momma skirts, surrender first time someone shout Boo!. And fucking Pope Nazi Twelfth join in Jew round-up, too, Dominus Vobiscum. Well they-ah kill-ah the-ah Christ, eh, say-ah so inna Holy Bible. Now we are all unite in One Great Brotherhood belong to Global Banking Corporation. Independence of great British nation go down shithole. In my country is Molotov cocktail time for government of thieving treacherous cunts like this, spit on heroes, spit on history, shit in face of decent citizen.
And on top of that read in Trannygraph that BBC researchers (ie rent boys and scrubbers on make) is ring around like fuck to find republican to speak ill of Good Queen Brenda on night of her unfortunate death. Even diehard republican like David Hare, famous communist playwright, say go off and fuck yourselves, this is shit, even by dismal pisspoor BBC standard. Stanislav is right bolshy bastard and republican as fuck but this BBC is work of fucking Devil.
Not Brenda’s fault is born Queen, very idea of slag off on night of death is fucking repellent to anyone with hole in arse. BBC should go in Tower of fucking London and DG Nancy Thompson hang up by neck off lamp post and feed poxed-up body to dogs. Fuck me, give country to Eurocunts like Prodi and Mandelstein and Blair and rehearse post mortem slander of old lady. All on same day. With what rapture must they congratulate themselves tonight. A whole neo-Nazi continent delivered and not a shot fired.
9:52 PM, December 13, 2007
Poor Jacqui Smith made a fool of herself again on Channel 4 news. (Fool Britannia)
Went to Ch4 news replay and couldn't see her. Only an interview with a fat woman from the Police Federation. Any more clues?
9:59 PM, December 13, 2007
If you go to Redditch this weekend and find the car boot sale, Jacqui'll be there, on the Delicious SnotBuns stall, just down from the burglars and across from the shoplifters. She will be developing her post politics career. She has a habit of scoffing all the SnotBuns herself so best get there early if you want some for the kids.
10:19 PM, December 13, 2007
Stan, the late and unlamented Nigel Dempster, gossipist at the Daily Mail, was overheard at a party speaking ill of Her Britannic Majesty; and was thereupon challenged by a person who shall be nameless to a duel: pistols, sirrah, or foils, it is all the same to me! Aforesaid Dempster (Poltroon of the Third Class, with Ken Livingstone Bar) instantly backed down, it was all a joke, he cried, just the drink talking, oh-ho-ho; at which his challenger summoned his most effective sneer and with curled lip moved away.
There is nowt so vile as a denizen of the Daily Mail, unless it is a denizen of the Guardian (the loathsome Aaronovitch springs to mind).
This is indeed a sad day for Britain.
10:24 PM, December 13, 2007
@ stanislav, a young polish plumber
One is wishing One had married a Pole instead of a Greek sailor-boy shagger with a large nose. Kindly accept an MBE and pop round to Buck Palace and give my thermostat a good looking to!
10:30 PM, December 13, 2007